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2.14.2015

An Open Letter To the Future Love of My Life

(Image credit: We Heart It)

Dear Love,

I have yet to meet you, but I'm already excited and looking forward to the day when our paths will finally cross. I've been wanting and waiting patiently to meet you for years now, and I must admit, I'm getting considerably more impatient as each day passes by, without  you by my side. I look around me and all I see is couples holding hands, whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, their expressions revealing the deep love they feel for their significant other. The guy reaches for a strand of her hair, tucks it behind her ear, she gives a smile that reaches her eyes. I try to remain cool in those situations as I try to bury the jealousy that suddenly engulfs me.

Love is a wonderful feeling, but jealousy, however, is not. And I know that, which is why I always find myself walking away instead of letting my envy get the better of me, Because I know when it's  our turn to share our love for one another with the world, I'd hate the idea of someone else disliking me, solely for the reason that we are in love. As I walk away, some thoughts normally run through my head. 'When will it be my turn to have someone hold my hand?' 'Am I ugly?' 'Don't I deserve happiness too?' The first thought is reasonable, but the last two are not. It's silly when I think about it because I know, while I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, I'm not ugly. What do they call it? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Yes. That's the one. Yes, I'm not a proud owner of a face and body worthy of a magazine cover, I don't have a six inch waistline, I'm always going to be the type of girl who'll forever choose burgers over salads. I'm clumsy, I'm shy, I like to dance alone in my room late at night like a lunatic and I worry a lot, but I seriously hope that you don't mind.

If you're looking for perfection, I'm sorry, but I'm not her. Neither do I expect perfection from you. I'll take you as you are, flaws and all just as long as you will love me like I deserve to be loved. I may not be the girl every guy dreams about, nor am I the girl every girl wishes to be. But I am ME. And not to blow my own horn, but I'm special in my own way. I can't promise you perfection, but I can promise you this: I have a heart that's big enough to love and accept you unconditionally, from the moment I meet you until fate and destiny decides to tear us apart.

On the day of our first encounter, I wonder if it'll be love at first sight just like in the movies. I can't lie. I've always been quite the romantic and those Hollywood big bosses sucked me into believing in one true love and meeting Mr Right. Will our eyes meet across a crowded room? Will we instantly feel the connection, attraction and that 'spark' that the likes of Nicholas Sparks et al tries to sell to us, on a regular basis? Are we going to literally bump into each other on the street? Or maybe, just maybe I've already met you? Maybe I already saw you, but I never realised that you were the one for me. I hate the idea of this, but it's certainly a possibility, I cannot rule out. Maybe we were not acquainted with each other then, because the universe had other plans in stored for us. Maybe we were both so preoccupied with our own lives, we missed our 'moment'. Either way, if that were truly the case, I hope we'll get our rewind soon.

Once upon a time, I believed in happily ever after. I believed in Prince Charming and his white horse (well not exactly a horse, more like a Ferrari or a BMW.) I'd like to think that there's still a part of me that believes in The One, but we are living in the 21st century now. The entire arena of the dating game has changed. Gone are the days of guys wooing girls with love letters/song lyrics. At present, a simple 'hi' 'hey sexy' 'how are you? 'You're hot, let's hang out' from a latest Tinder match is where love begins (or ends...) I'm not expecting fireworks or other extravagant ways to win my heart. As I mentioned before, you don't need to look like a GQ model with Greek God Adonis-esque washboard abs and a face that's perfectly sculpted. If given the choice between a guy who can make me laugh so hard, I'm actually left crying or a guy who looks like Channing Tatum's long lost brother, I'm going to go for the former. Because looks fade, but a great sense of humor? That lasts for a lifetime. And man, that's hot.

While I wait for our paths to cross, I sometimes wonder if you stay up late at night, looking at the dark sky and wondering why our stars haven't aligned yet. Because there are nights, I find myself doing just that. There's a belief that wishes made on a shooting star come true, but as I have yet to spot that elusive shooting star, I haven't been able to prove it. 

I don't know if I'll meet this week, this month, this year, next year or even in this lifetime, but I do know that I want to wait for you and not settle for just any guy that comes along. I want to share my many first experiences with you. And only you. I want to create all those beautiful memories for us to cherish when we're both old and grey. Until then, I'm going to live my life and become a better version of me.

So Happy Valentine's Day, my future love. I hope wherever you are right now, you're thinking about me too.

With all my love,
Diane.